Episode 01

Gay Merlin Fan-Fiction Series: Making Love in a Forest

Scene 01 [Early morning, Arthur’s chamber]

– Merlin! – Arthur’s voice echoed from his chamber just as Merlin was walking down the corridor carrying Prince’s breakfast. The boy paused by the door and smirked. – Merlin!
– Good morning, sire! – He bounced in.

Merlin stopped by the table and scanned Arthur from head to toes. There must be something he could make a silly joke about. His focal point was half-dressed and seemed really anxious.

– Is everything ok, sire? Spiders, rats, moths, or did you just fell out of bed and hurt your behind? – The servant asked his master while trying to imitate a concerned face.
– Yes, I did, – Arthur marched towards Merlin. – And I’ll rub it with your face if you don’t shut up and help me to get ready.

Merlin’s lips trembled as he couldn’t hold a smile. Arthur just stood there, waiting for Merlin to respond, but the boy turned his gaze away from Arthur’s, took a deep breath and then wondered:

– Ready for what? – Merlin shook his head. – It’s too early for your training.
– I’m not going to train today, there’s something more important that we need to investigate, – Arthur swayed with the stride towards the closet.
– What is it? – Merlin followed his masters naked back with his eyes.

A cherry tomato from Arthur’s plate found its way to the curious boy’s mouth. Arthur took his shirt out, put it on and turned to Merlin eating Prince’s food while staring at him dressing:

– Yes, Merlin! – Arthur placed his hands on his hips. – You just stand there and enjoy my breakfast while I get ready AAALL by myself.
– I’m sorry, sire, – Merlin realized what he just did. – I, I…

As the servant tried to put Arthur’s plate on a table next to him, Merlin’s hand shook and the rest of tomatoes fell on a floor. He kneeled to collect them. The boy grabbed two from under the table and then reached for the last one in front of him. Boy’s gaze stumbled across Arthur’s feet, tapping the floor just a few inches away. Merlin looked up and smiled.

– Sire?
– Merlin?

The door opened and Uther walked in.

– Father!
– Arthur… – the King uttered and looked down at Merlin still kneeling beneath his son.
– We were about to leave, – the Prince spread out his arms. – Once my useless servant here manages to pack our supplies for the day.

The boy frowned at Arthur and then twisted his head towards the door. Uther was still inspecting him. Merlin slowly swallowed the rest of the tomato and got up.

– Your Majesty! – He bent his head down. The King seemed confused and displeased.
– Where is it that you’re going to? – Uther asked Arthur.
– To search the river that runs near the Valley of the Fallen Kings, – Arthur explained. – There are some rumors about a magical creature that drowns villagers who live nearby.
– I see… – Uther pondered. – Have you informed the knights? How many will you need?
– None, – Arthur exclaimed. – I’m going by myself.
– Arthur… – Uther spoke with concern.
– Father, – the Prince interrupted. – The creature is said to be cautious and good at hiding. It appears only to its victim when least expected. We’ll have to play easy to get to lure it into a trap.
– Just… be careful. And come to see me once you’re back, – Uther ordered. – There’s a matter I’d like to discuss.
– Sure, father, – Arthur nodded as the door closed.
– We?! – Merlin wiggled. – What do you mean “we’ll have to play easy to get”?
– Yes, MERlin, didn’t I tell you? You’re the bait! – Arthur pointed his finger at the lost boy and laughed.

Merlin’s lips started moving as if he was talking, but no words or even a sound came out of the servant’s mouth. Despite the silence, Arthur could hear Merlin saying “crappy plan, you… dollophead”. Arthur leaned over, put his hand around his ear and pretended to listen.

– I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you, could you, please, repeat that? – The Prince tilted his head up. – MERlin…
– Happy to serve you, sire, – the boy composed himself. – A very wise plan, sire.
– Good. – Arthur placed his hand on Merlin’s shoulder. – Now, will you finish packing my food? No time for breakfast, we need to get to the river before noon.

Merlin took the plate and left Arthur’s chamber. He ran to his room, folded the rest of the meal into a napkin, put it into his bag with the rest of the stuff, took a blanket and raced to the stables. After a few moments, the Prince and his manservant were on their way to face yet another dangerous and unfamiliar magical creature.

Scene 02 [Merlin and Arthur riding in a forest]

After galloping for over two hours in silence, Arthur finally slowed down and Merlin got a chance to take a breath and ask some questions about their secret mission.

– So what is it exactly we are looking for and how are you planning to kill it? – Merlin loudly inquired trotting behind Arthur.
– Does it matter? – The mischievous leader tormented his already anxious companion.
– How else will I tell you that it’s not a good idea if I don’t know what it is? – Merlin sassed his master swinging his head from one side to the other.
– That’s the point, Merlin, – a naughty grin lit up on Arthur’s face. – You won’t.
The clueless bait pouted his lips and glanced at his master’s back angrily.
– How… insightful, sire.
– Shut up, Merlin, – Arthur curled his lip and spurred his horse on. – Come on!
– I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic about my very possible and imminent death! – Merlin screamed at heading off Prince before picking up the pace.

Scene 03 [Merlin and Arthur in the forest]

In less than an hour, both riders reached their goal. They stopped about a half-a-mile away from the Valley of the Fallen Kings and set a campsite near the river where the mysterious creature was supposed to hunt and kill its human prey.

Merlin watered the horses and collected wood for the fire while Arthur checked the surrounding area and sharpened his sword with a rock. As soon as he finished preparing his weapon, the Prince hid the sword beneath a lump of wood he was sitting on. Merlin started a fire and sat down beside his master.

They kept silent and listened. There was nothing to hear but birds, leaves and the river. Merlin picked up a stick and rolled around some branches burning inside the fire. Arthur was tracking his servant’s hand movements.

The sound of the flowing water nearby and the warmth of the fire by their feet was simply too calming. The couple became almost hypnotized by it. Soon the duo was thinking about all else but the monster supposedly hiding somewhere behind the bushes.

– What would you like? – Merlin mumbled and glanced at Arthur.

As their gazes met he forgot what was it that he wanted to ask. What would you like… to… eat, find, do? What? Merlin had no idea. And maybe there was nothing else, just “what would you like?”. It wouldn’t be unexpected – as Arthur’s servant, Merlin would do anything for him. Or maybe, just maybe, since it was precisely Arthur who was his master, Merlin would do anything because of him. For him. To him…

Such thoughts crossed his mind as their eyes locked onto each other. Merlin felt shivers going down his spine and leaving a trail of rapidly melting frost behind. What was it that the boy now saw in his Prince’s sky-blue eyes? Was it caring, longing or… lust?

Arthur couldn’t grasp the meaning of Merlin’s question, but he didn’t want to ask. The idea that he had now was very fragile and seemed impossible, but mesmerized Prince didn’t want his servant to look away. He didn’t want him to talk, move or breath. It was a moment that cut deep into his soul. Arthur wasn’t sure what it was but he was too afraid to ruin it. Too afraid to be disappointed or found out. So he just froze, staring at Merlin, as if he could freeze the time itself, so the moment never ends.

– It’s probably just my imagination, – Merlin straightened up, rubbed his legs with his hands and turned his gaze towards the fire.

The moment was ruined and yet… saved. What did he mean by “my imagination”? – Arthur wondered. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach and some kind of flow tickled down his waist. The Prince felt like he was about to blush so he stood up and left.

– I should get some rest, – it was Arthur’s turn this time to leave Merlin wondering what’s on his master’s mind.

Was that his plan? To leave Merlin behind and wait for the monster to attack? Or is it to pretend to fall asleep so the monster attacked him? Or maybe Arthur just left, because he felt uncomfortable with Merlin staring at him uncontrollably? The boy couldn’t take his eyes off his master slowly walking away. He wanted to follow him, but the real reason for it scared Merlin to death. He was sure he could never say or do anything on an impulse like that.

Suddenly, Arthur stopped and turned around. Their eyes met again although he didn’t expect it. The look he unintentionally gave Merlin answered all his servant’s questions. The boy got up and walked towards Arthur.

As he was approaching, Arthur grabbed Merlin by the neck and pulled him closer. They could feel each other’s breathing. Arthur glanced at Merlin’s mouth. The boy’s lower lip was trembling, he couldn’t breathe evenly. Merlin moved his head a bit closer but stopped himself just before their lips met.

– Are you sure you want to do this? – He asked.

Arthur put his other arm around Merlin and pressed the boy’s chest against his. They felt every bit of each other’s bodies. A fast and strong pulse was coursing through their veins, echoing from one to the other, residing in their hearts and traveling down towards their lower body parts. Arthur caressed boy’s cheek with his own and confessed into his ear:

– With all my heart.

Prince’s lips gently bit Merlin’s ear and the boy gasped for air resting his head onto Arthur’s shoulder. His arm reached for his master’s secret parts, but Arthur did it first to Merlin. With a swift handgrip, he was holding a delicate controller of his servant and stroking it up and down. With the other hand, Arthur was still clasping Merlin’s neck. He pulled back the boy’s head and kissed him.

Merlin couldn’t stop but twist his hips against the direction of his master’s hand maneuvers. Arthur was guiding boy’s blood-consumed thickening staff upwards. The boy entered and exited Arthur’s palm with increasing speed and strength resulting in indescribable pleasure.

Arthur fell on his knees, pulled down Merlin’s pants and took all of his flesh-sword into his mouth. It went deep inside Prince’s throat and made him gag a bit. Merlin couldn’t hold it much longer. He grabbed Arthur’s head and with a few deep pushes, he came inside his master’s mouth. Arthur swallowed the juice and kissed his lover’s tool goodbye. He picked himself up and looked at Merlin, still unable to see clearly.

What now? – He thought to himself. What did I just do?
– Sire, – Merlin whispered, still standing with his pants down.
– Merlin, – Arthur turned his gaze away.

The servant bent down to pull up his trousers. Arthur just stood there, right in front of the boy. With the biggest hard-on, he’s ever had. Merlin noticed it and looked up at his master. Arthur seemed lost, searching for something amongst the trees further away. The boy decided not to waste his chance. It might be the only one he ever gets.

In a matter of seconds, it was the Prince who was gasping for air while deepthroating his servant. Nothing around them existed, nothing mattered. It was the best feeling Arthur had ever felt and he wanted to moan and tell sweet and nasty things to Merlin. He wanted to be inside his servant in every way possible for as long as he could. Arthur knew he’ll regret this moment later, but there was nothing that could stop him now.

Prince filled Merlin’s mouth and spilled his seed onto his face and neck. There was so much of it. The boy was barely able to swallow the load.

– Let’s go by the river, – Arthur insisted once he saw his servants face covered in semen.
– Sure, sire, – Merlin responded and followed his master.

Scene 04 [Merlin and Arthur by the river]

Without uttering another word they washed and refreshed themselves by the stream. Neither knew what to say or what it all even meant. Merlin tilted his head up and saw a figure behind a tree that looked a bit like Uther. His vision was a bit blurry and once it became clear the figure disappeared. It must’ve been Merlin’s deepest inner fears finding their way into the conscious guilt-ridden mind.

– What will you tell your father? – Merlin couldn’t withhold the concern.
– Not sure, – Arthur replied and stood up, turning away from Merlin, acting as if nothing happened. – Does my father matter?
– Now you tell me?! – The boy panicked and jumped up. – Oh, what’s that wildren eating? It’s alright, it’s just Merlin.

Merlin’s head was filled with images of all the different ways the King could kill him. His palms were sweating and his legs were shaking. Arthur, on the other hand, was giggling. He didn’t pay any attention to his servant’s worries. For the Prince already convinced himself this had never happened, so there was nothing to worry about.

– Are you trying to get us both killed? – Merlin cried in despair.
– I’m sorry, – Arthur apologized.

It wasn’t enough for the boy. He was sick of playing games and hiding how he truly felt. Merlin wanted to feel safe and valued, he wanted Arthur to give him more than just physical pleasure. He knew there WAS more between them.

The boy looked down, kicked a rock and gathered all the emotional strength he had, to play this one last game with Arthur.

– Well, they do say love makes you do strange things, – Merlin gave him a hint.
– What are you talking about? – Arthur pretended not to grasp the innuendo.
– Why can’t you just admit your feelings? – The boy’s patience ran out.

He moved closer to the Prince not ready to give up. Arthur shook his head. He wanted to put a displeased face on, but he could not help but smile at Merlin. The boy saw it and smiled back.

Arthur turned away to pick up his sword. He wanted to avoid any further direct contact with his servant. The Prince was aware of the tall walls of self-denial crumbling down inside him just because of Merlin but he was too afraid to reveal his true nature even to his beloved who he knew loved him back.

– It’s so obvious, – Merlin continued. – Is it really that hard to admit? Just say it!
– I can’t! – Arthur stuttered and turned to Merlin.

His eyes filled with tears, asking his servant to stop digging deeper into his heart. But there was no deeper. Nothing brighter, more vibrant or exciting. Nothing of worth without it. And they both knew it. They both felt it. And that’s what was hurting them both so much.

– Why can’t you? – Merlin just wouldn’t let go.
– Because nothing can ever happen between us! – The Prince stated the obvious.

He got really angry. Not with Merlin and not because of him. Arthur could never get angry with his servant, even if he really tried to make it look that way. It’s always been a trick, a horse-play, the way for him to tease and touch his secret object of affection. Something they could do instead of foreplay. Something they could both build on in their most intimate fantasies once left alone and unsupervised.

– To admit my feelings, knowing that, – the Prince couldn’t patch up his exposed pretense any longer. – Hurts too much.

This was the moment Merlin saw Arthur completely naked. Not when he was sucking him off, not while watching his master bathe – now. However longed for, heartwarming and hopeful the words were, the boy couldn’t bear hurting his love like this.

– Who’s to say nothing can happen? – Merlin questioned their fate.
– My father wouldn’t let me rescue a servant, you honestly believe he would let me marry one? – The Prince exclaimed.
– You want to marry?! – The servant’s heart just skipped a beat.
– No, I… – Arthur blushed. He stretched his arm in front of Merlin, distancing himself from him. – I don’t know.

The servant took a tiny step back and lift his both hands up showing that he’s backing out. Merlin fixed his eyes on the rocks beneath him and nodded. He stopped interrogating his Prince – this went way further than he’d hoped. If they keep on talking they’ll lose more than physical intimacy – they’ll lose their future together.

Any arduous dream, however unlikely to come to pass, can become very dangerous once expressed openly. The pain of not achieving it is felt throughout the entire organism – body and mind. It can be poisonous, crippling, devastating. Especially, if there’s irresistible hope which can’t be distinguished.

Once it’s out – it’s not a fantasy anymore, not a day-dreamers vision of the future that will never happen. It’s one’s life goal. Dragging itself behind the person day and night like a shadow, turning everything into the darkness that surrounds the possibility of accomplishing it. A dream like that, unfulfilled, is but a nightmare.

– It’s all talk and that’s all it can ever be, – Arthur was eager to come back to reality.
– When you’re King – you can change that, – for Merlin it WAS reality.
– Can’t expect you to wait for me, – The Prince responded.

A shy smile glowed upon Arthur’s face. He overlooked the river and waited for his lover to swear he will…

– Well, I promised you I would, – Merlin couldn’t stop grinning as he was slowly approaching Arthur. – I’m coming with you.

Just like earlier that day, in a forest by the fire, when he asked a strange question with no way for Arthur to know what the boy meant, Merlin had no idea what his “I’m coming with you” was for. And just like then – he didn’t want to know. Maybe that was because it meant everything it could possibly mean and it was everything they could possibly be. Or maybe, just maybe… it was a dirty joke setting a new tone in their relationship. Either way, none of them knew for sure.

– Come on, we’ve got a long track ahead, – Arthur said once he stopped staring at Merlin. – Oh, and Merlin! If you dare tell… anyone about this I promise, I will make your life a living hell.
– More than you already do? – This time Merlin definitely had a bit more on his mind.
– Yeah, – However much Arthur tried to look serious and demanding, he couldn’t stop smiling at his lover making suggestive faces.

They both knew this was just the beginning and both anticipated what was yet to come.

Arthur led the way down the river path searching for the horses and the campsite. The servant followed him blindly, thinking of his master’s words and certain body parts…

– We could talk about your feelings while you walk, – Merlin kept teasing Arthur.
– Shut up, Merlin! – The Prince shouted back at him already counting all the new exciting ways he could make Merlin shut up…

Scene 05 [The next day, Arthur’s chamber]

As Arthur was inspecting the hole in his boot, Merlin walked in. Was it any other day – he would’ve thrown the boot at his lazy servant and shouted at him for not doing his duties, but today was different. Arthur was in a hurry, thinking of other things he wants to do to Merlin once they’re out of the castle and alone.

– We’re going to the forest, first thing in the morning, – The Prince commanded.
– It’s too dangerous, – Merlin responded while sorting out Arthur’s things scattered all across the room. – You need to be… cautious.
– See if you could find us some food, – The Prince ignored him while checking the rest of his shoes.
– Arthur… – The servant stopped wandering.
– What is it? – Arthur finally acknowledged Merlin’s concern.
– I saw Uther in a forest, – the boy explained his fears.

His Royal Ass was sitting on a chair putting his boots on. His face almost turned to stone as Arthur heard Merlin talking about his father.

– Why didn’t you say anything? – He blamed the boy.
– It was just for a second and then he disappeared, – Merlin took a few steps closer. – I didn’t even… well, I thought I was seeing things… but he was definitely there.
– Stalking about in a forest? – Arthur couldn’t believe him.
– Not deliberately, – Merlin leaned on a table as he was trying to explain what he saw.
– My father would have your head if he found out! – The Prince dismissed unsurely sounding observations and got up. – Gather some supplies – we leave tonight. Fetch the horses.

Arthur pointed at the distressed boy with the back of his sword patronizing the servant and then left his chamber. However unlikely Merlin’s story was, he had to make sure it wasn’t true. Since the Prince delayed their leave until evening Arthur went to see his father.

Scene 06 [Merlin gathering supplies in his and Gaius’ quarters]

Restless and anguished, Merlin was gathering food and medical supplies which they both might need if the duo actually found the creature in a forest. Or if the King found them first.

It was hard for the servant to get rid of all of the thoughts coming together into various scenarios of what could go wrong in the near future. Merlin’s sixth sense telling him about an imminent danger was as strong as ever. Almost as if it was breathing down his neck.

– My lord! – Merlin screamed as he turned around.

Apparently, it was Uther standing behind the servant all this time and not just some inner fear playing tricks on him. Merlin feared that his suspicions were true and that he’ll have to pay for one moment of pleasure with his life.

– I wanted to thank you in person, – Uther spoke as Merlin lowered his head and clutched his fists behind his back. – You are a loyal servant to Arthur, I’m most grateful.
– Just doing my duty, – The boy couldn’t believe what he just heard.

Uther stared at him for a moment and walked straight past, slightly pushing one of the boy’s shoulders with his own. Merlin tilted his head a bit and his eyes opened wider as if trying to see deeper into the situation he was in.

– If you ever speak of what happened between yourself and Arthur to another living soul…, – The King paused and slowly turned around to finish his threat. – I will have you hanged.

Merlin glanced at Uther with his guilt-ridden fearful eyes and exposed his and Arthur’s secrets giving the only proof the King still needed to know what had actually happened between Merlin and his son.

– Right, of course, – the servant unwittingly responded trying to avoid incriminating himself any further.

Once Uther left, Merlin just stood there looking at the closed door and thinking that this is there their game ends. All seemed lost: Merlin’s work and place beside Arthur, and maybe even his life itself…

Scene 07 [Merlin’s room]

Merlin was lying on a bed with his hands crossed and tears of anger in his eyes. He heard someone knocking but didn’t look up. Was it the guards coming to drag him down to the cells? Was it Gaius wanting to ask Merlin what was he thinking? Was it Arthur coming to tell him that he’s been banned from Camelot and won’t see his Prince ever again? He just didn’t care anymore. The overload of emotions left Merlin numb. Come what may – he thought.

– I… – the boy heard Arthur’s voice in his room and glanced at him for a moment. – …wanted to let you know that your job is safe and that your home is yours for life. I guarantee you that.

However unexpected, Arthur’s promises didn’t make a difference. Merlin knew that the King will find a way to get of him no matter what. As a mere servant, he had no rights and no future with Arthur. Everything had changed because of that single lapse of judgment in a forest. There was no way around it.

– Alright, – Merlin answered.
– I… know that… – Arthur raised his eyebrows surprised at how cold and devastated the boy sounded. – …under the circumstances it’s not much, but…. Anything you want, anything you need – all you have to do is ask.

Merlin shook his head. It was the sweetest and most honest thing Arthur had ever told him, but it was too late. Like a salt rubbed hard onto a fresh wound. The Prince stood there for a moment, but as there was no answer and he couldn’t just lay down beside his love and hug him, Arthur turned to leave.

– You could never understand, – Merlin’s words stopped him. – Do you know how it feels…?

The Prince turned around contemplating just how lost, alone and hurt he felt right and how possibly could it be any worse. Whatever Merlin felt – he felt it as well. They glanced at each other with tears in their eyes.

– …to be afraid of who you are? – The boy finished his question knowing that Arthur won’t understand all the layers of despair he had put in there.
– I’m sorry, – Arthur simply replied biting his lip.

Merlin redirected his gaze and took a deep breath. He had shed too many tears as too many things saw the light of day today. Neither he, not Arthur was ready for another secret to be revealed…